The young ambitious Victor
Frankenstein allowed his curiosity and scientific pursuit to lead down a dark
path of questionable morals while pushing the boundaries of humanity. What if
young Frankenstein had chosen to advance the science of composting instead?
Two is better. Although reluctant, Frankenstein made a companion for his
first lonely creation. His single compost bin would be lonely too. Making a
second would have made Victor’s job of harvesting way easier because one bin
could be “cooking” while he was adding
material to the other. I like to think that the marriage between Frankenstein’s
two compost bins would have worked out much better than his two monsters.
New “life” to the dead. Frankenstein could have applied his interest in the reanimation of human body parts to giving dead vegetable scraps and leaves a new life as a very useful soil amendment. He would not have been as horrified harvesting the rich brown finished compost as he was when he first laid eyes on his monster.
Compost Like a Vampire
Three Warning Signs Your Compost is a Zombie
Smashing Pumpkins
In honor of the best holiday of
the year (in my humble opinion), I’ve imagined this classic horror novel
character as a master composter and I think he would have been fantastic.
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| Victor Frankenstein |
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| Frankenstein's monster |
Science. Dr. Frankenstein, the quintessential genius mad
scientist, certainly would have applied his
knowledge to composting. From the pH of a compost pile, to balancing carbon and nitrogen, to the benefits of composting (including happiness), a basic understanding of science helps one to understand
composting too.
Frankenstein no doubt would have
improved upon our current methods. Possibly with lightning rods and the
meticulous selection of what goes into the bin?
Two is better. Although reluctant, Frankenstein made a companion for his
first lonely creation. His single compost bin would be lonely too. Making a
second would have made Victor’s job of harvesting way easier because one bin
could be “cooking” while he was adding
material to the other. I like to think that the marriage between Frankenstein’s
two compost bins would have worked out much better than his two monsters.
New “life” to the dead. Frankenstein could have applied his interest in the reanimation of human body parts to giving dead vegetable scraps and leaves a new life as a very useful soil amendment. He would not have been as horrified harvesting the rich brown finished compost as he was when he first laid eyes on his monster.
Perhaps Victor Frankenstein should
have chosen composting as an obsession rather than the reanimation of human
corpses. The chances of his compost bin becoming a homicidal monster were very
low and composting results in virtually no self-loathing or regret. Although, I
doubt Mary Shelley would have sold quite as many copies of Frankenstein: a
Modern Composter.
I’ll leave you with a disturbing,
Halloween-appropriate quote from Frankenstein’s monster:
“There is love in me the likes
of which you've never seen. There is rage in me the likes of which should never
escape. If I am not satisfied in the one, I will indulge the other.” –Mary
Shelley, Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus
Past Halloween Blog Posts:
How to Practice Compost WitchcraftPast Halloween Blog Posts:
Compost Like a Vampire
Three Warning Signs Your Compost is a Zombie
Smashing Pumpkins
Happy Halloween, my fellow
frankencomposters.
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| Poor guy just wanted someone to love. |
Love the post! You always have fun Halloween posts. I think my bin is at risk of becoming that "homicidal monster" right now, but after I show it some love with some leaves and much needed water, I think I'll be safe. For now... Bwahhh ha ha haaaaaaaa.
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